Gladness Gideon
Former First Lady Michelle Obama has opened up for the first time about her decision to skip former President Donald Trump’s second inauguration and the funeral of President Jimmy Carter earlier this year — choices that stirred waves of public speculation and triggered false rumors about the state of her marriage.
Speaking candidly on the April 23 episode of her podcast IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson, which she co-hosts with her brother, Obama addressed the personal reckoning that led her to sit out some of the nation’s most visible political ceremonies.
“My decision to skip the inauguration — you know what people don’t realize — or my decision to make choices at the beginning of this year that suited me, were met with such ridicule and criticism,” she shared during a heartfelt discussion with actress Taraji P. Henson.
Critics, Obama said, were quick to speculate about turmoil in her marriage to former President Barack Obama. But in truth, she explained, the decision was about something far deeper: honoring herself.
“While I’m here really trying to own my life and intentionally practice making the choice that was right for me… people couldn’t believe that I was saying no for any other reason,” she said.
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The former first lady said it was a deliberate move toward what she called “big girl decisions” — putting her well-being above expectations, even if it meant breaking with tradition.
“It took everything in my power to not do the thing that was perceived as right, but to do the thing that was right for me,” she said, adding that she avoided even the possibility of backtracking by ensuring she had “nothing to wear.”
“I told my team, ‘I don’t even want to have a dress ready.’ Because it’s so easy to just say, ‘Let me do the right thing.’”
For Obama, the moment also carried weight as a teaching opportunity — one she hopes her daughters, Malia and Sasha, will draw from.
“I want them to start practicing now the art of saying ‘no,’” she said, emphasizing the pressure women often feel to please, perform, and put themselves last. “It’s a practice. It’s a muscle you have to build.”
This latest conversation builds on earlier comments Obama made in April on the Work in Progress podcast with actress Sophia Bush, where she discussed the stigma that surrounds women choosing themselves.
“People couldn’t even fathom that I was making a choice for myself — they had to assume that my husband and I are divorcing,” she said then. “This couldn’t be a grown woman just making a set of decisions for herself, right? But that’s what society does to us.”
In an era where public appearances are often mistaken for allegiance or obligation, Obama’s message is a quiet but firm challenge to expectations — especially those imposed on women in the public eye.
“I feel like it’s time for me to make some big girl decisions about my life and own it fully,” she concluded.